I’m depressed. I’ve only just now realized it. I can be dense sometimes.

I was diagnosed with depression for the first time in high school although it had probably been there all my life. I remember how it slowly built until it was a force greater than I could control.

My mom had suffered from depression and was a great help and resource. Since then it has resurfaced several times. You’d think I’d recognize the warning signs by now. But with everything going on in my life right now no one could blame me for not noticing. Except me. I blame me. I know better.

Anyway, Mom gave me a booklet this guy wrote about his experiences with depression. It inspired me to write my own. What its like for me. Maybe you’ve been through depression and can relate. Maybe you live with someone suffering from depression and it will help you understand. I don’t know.

You know those commercials “Depression hurts”? I say “Depression Sucks!”

Yeah, depression does suck, doesn't it? I was diagnosed a few years ago, but like you, I think I've probably had it all my life and I just didn't realize it. It sure would explain a lot of my life, that's for sure.

One thing I feel I can honestly say is this, Alice: We don't always realize we're in a depression, so expecting ourselves to recognize the signs is unrealistic. When we're in it, we can't see anything except what's immediately in front of us; I think we only recognize we're depressed when we're starting to come out of it, or when something is triggered deep in our brains and we have that moment of realization. So, please don't be too hard on yourself, okay? Depression makes us blind to most things; we just have to figure out ways to be kinder to ourselves when we're in the thick of it...

you need to update this business, people want to know what you're up to